by Lisa Backus (NewBritainHerald.com)
NEW BRITAIN — Michael Peterson recalls the way his brother Julian Cartie would sail across the football field as a star wide receiver with the New Britain High School Golden Hurricanes.
“I swear to God, it wasn’t that he’s my brother, he might have been one of the top three I’ve ever seen in my life,” said the 29-year-old dean of students who also attended NBHS as a football star. “The past four months have been tough. He was my younger brother, he’s like my ‘Mini-Me.’ A man’s family is his strength. My family means everything to me. This is like something you see on TV.”
The normally confident and boisterous educator, who attended the University of Rhode Island on a football scholarship, immediately becomes sober when he talks of his brother and how his short life ended.
Cartie, who was waiting to join the 186th Foxtrot National Guard Company for a tour in Afghanistan, was shot and killed on a Springfield, Mass., street in February. Police are still investigating. The shooting occurred in front of friends and family who had traveled to the city to visit a nightclub.
Peterson can describe the video of the shooting that was captured on a nearby store camera but still has no answers as to why his 25-year-old half-brother was killed.
“It literally was like you see him approach the car saying ‘Hi,’ there wasn’t a punch thrown, and then two seconds later he’s thrown back into the vision of the camera with the gunshots,” Peterson said.
As an avid poet who performs the spoken word at clubs and colleges in the Northeast, he admits it took him several months to finally get his feelings on paper.
The result, “Pray For Us,” tells of the jarring reality of losing a brother, a loved one, so suddenly and violently.
He writes:
“I’ve never felt pain like this before,
I’ve never been drained like this before,
Do you know what’s like when your heart feels sore.”
He says, “It took me a while to get it out on paper. I’ve been a big advocate of expressing myself with the pen.”
The past four months have been a struggle for his family, which includes several brothers and sisters who formerly had lost contact but now have been brought together to share a bond of loss.
The poem, which Peterson unveiled for the first time at a city Juneteenth celebration last month, also reveals that his mother simply wants her son back.
“To have to deal with it is tough, but I am dealing with it for my mom,” he said. “All my strength comes from her and for her.”
He asked the celebrating crowd for support as he read the poem for the first time publicly. His voice was loud and strong. He did not falter and he received a standing ovation.
Peterson is in the process of starting an after-school program titled after Cartie’s nickname, “Peanut,” that will help kids deal with inner-city issues that lead to dropping out of school. The group will have “Peanut” T-shirts, he said, so his brother’s name will never be forgotten.
“The reality of living with that is a thousand times harder than what you would imagine,” he admits in a soft but solid voice. “You can’t even imagine what it is.”
Lisa Backus can be reached at lbackus@newbritainherald.com or by calling (860) 225-4601, ext. 223.
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Images sources: obit.ericksonhansen.com and newbritainherald.com
